Every Tuesday, we will write about “play” and how adults and children alike can have this in their lives.

This is one of my favorite stories that always makes me laugh — I thought I would share again:

My [at the time] 4 year old son, Keilan, is an only child and loves to play — as long as it is with someone.  He does not enjoy playing by himself.  He needs someone to appreciate how fast he is.  He needs someone to be the villain to his hero.  He needs someone to watch his made-up shows, to chase him around the room — someone to talk to while he eats his cereal.  That someone is me, or his dad.    

It doesn’t stop there.  When Keilan gets bored playing with me (ordinary mom), he wants me to be other people.   Not as in a character in a story, but actually pretending to be someone else as his playmate.  For example, if something new or exciting happens,  he wants to tell someone about it.   Well, since I (mom) have  already seen or heard about this new story, he asks me to pretend to be someone else so he can tell them (me) about what he knows.  For example, ”Mom, will you be Nana so I can tell her about this.”  ”Ok, I’m Nana”.  “Nana, did you know my mommy got me this new toy — look how cool it is.”  “Wow, Keilan that’s great.”  And, I will continue to be Nana until he feels he has told “her” enough details about the new toy. Then, he wants me to be Papa so he can tell him about the toy as well.  And so on. 

I do love the creativity and energy of my son, but it makes me tired. 

In my effort to combat his constant need for my attention, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea.  I would help my son to create an imaginary friend.   First, I suggested that sometimes instead of playing with Mommy or Daddy, he could have an imaginary friend.   He seemed to like the idea initially and thought of the name “Heffridge” for his friend.   A strange name, yes, but I did not inquire further for fear of slowing the momentum.  I explained to my son that Heffridge would always be there to play with or talk to if he needed him and, when he had something exciting to tell, Heffridge would always listen. We were on a roll.   

But then, I went too far. In my effort to sell the idea, I told him that I also had an imaginary friend that I called Erica, and that sometimes I would talk to her.   Keilan was fascinated by the fact that I had an imaginary friend (I don’t — really. . . I promise).   

Soon thereafter, I asked Kei if he might want to bring Heffridge along to the store or play with him while I was working.  He said  ”No, I don’t want to bring him.  He’s not here right now.  But, I do want to talk to Erica.”   Keilan  wanted me to pretend to be Erica so he could talk to her!  “Mommy, is Erica here right now? Can she listen to my story? “  Heffridge was dumped for Erica.  Talk about a strategy that backfired !  Thereafter, I spent numerous days pretending to be Erica — and Mommy – and having three way conversations with my son that would have been viewed as slightly crazy by anyone listening.  

Keilan never once played with Heffridge, and Erica has now taken an extended vacation.  

I am still trying new techniques to get Keilan to play by himself more, but I have also decided to try to enjoy these moments for what they are — valuable time with my son.    I can’t even imagine a time when he would rather be somewhere else other than playing with me; although I know it will come.  And when it does, I guess I’ll just have to call Erica.

Update: Keilan is now 6 and enjoys much more playing on his own with his action figures, although he still “invites” me along quite often. Just yesterday, for the first time in a long time, he asked me if we could play the game like we used to “where you be a guy and I talk to them.”  I had to say yes. For 15 minutes or so, I became each of the new superheroes as they were introduced to the old ones.  It was the best time I have had in a long time.

Posted under Play, Random Thoughts