On Mondays, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

It was reported last month that 4 prominent men in the political field connect with each other daily on a morning phone call: George Stephanopolous, James Carville, Paul Begala and White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanual.  They are good friends and have done this for years.  While many conservative bloggers and commentators have derided these conversations as inappropriate “strategy sessions”, I am not interested in that aspect of the story.  

I am fascinated however by the fact that these friends talk virtually every day.  As I write often about the importance of connection, I was struck by how these men value their connection with each other.  To touch base with others who understand you and your circumstances and don’t just think they know you is critical to a sense of well being (happiness even ?).  This is why it seems that it was so important for President Obama to keep his Blackberry — to stay connected to those who knew him  before he was President and to maintain some form of normalcy.    

I think these stories are good reminders of the importance of connection.  I have always had a good relationship with my sister and after I moved to a different city from her 6 years ago (I am still not forgiven for this), the importance of staying connected took on new meaning for us.  She was a true lifeline for me as I was trying to figure out what to do with a newborn baby.  It wasn’t that she had the answers (she didn’t), but she knew me before I had my son and gave me the connection I needed to talk about fashion, entertainment, or just nothing. I used to call her everyday.  

As we have both changed and she has also had children (twins!), our time commitments have sometimes made our phone calls take a back seat to other things. This last month, I think we went almost two weeks without talking.  I was feeling disconnected and simply missing her.  After seeing the story about the Chief of Staff connecting every day with his friends, I decided surely my sister and I could connect more often.  So, we have reinstituted the “daily call.”  We’ll see how long it lasts, but just knowing we will try makes me happy.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project

On Mondays, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

One of my favorite ways to connect with my son is through reading.  The physical act of sitting together or lying in bed to read automatically brings us closer.   In addition, the books and stories themselves will often bring you closer through their message or the shared experience of following the characters.  One of the best books I would read over and over again  to my son from 6 mos to about 4 years was “No Matter What”  by Debi Gliori.  

It is a book about the love between parent and child (or “Small and Large”) and is told in a simple, fun and peaceful way.  The reassurance that a child will be loved even when he acts inappropriately is a wonderful message and this author tells it in a way that made it great fun for us over and over again.  I still ask my son if he is feeling “grim and grumpy” and even if he is, he knows I still love him — no matter what.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project, Kid Gifts

A funny, touching and true reading by Kelly Corrigan, author of The Middle Place.

Posted under Connecting

This week, my categories and entries are all out of sorts (snow days and holiday shopping will do that). So, here’s a way to connect with your child, play and give to others ! Make cookies like these, pretend to be silly reindeer introducing themselves and give some to co-workers or friends or a local shelter. 

Aren’t these reindeer cookies adorable? Brought to you courtesy of Mariah and Harrison — two of the most creative people I know.  But credit should also go to Family Fun magazine’s December issue, where they got the idea (although I do love the peanut cookie shape best). 

Posted under Connecting, Holidays

As part of our version of the Happiness Project, we are trying to continue to “learn” — anything.  This week , Jen learns she just might be “hip.”  Stay tuned for future technology adventures. 

“You had me at scrolling.” ~Steve Jobs on the iPhone

I’m in love with my iPhone.  I am not a gadget person.  I’m not a hipster.  I am a mom of two and seriously afraid of being a shlumpadinka, both in appearance and in mindset.  I am also an underbuyer.  So is my husband.  And somehow we waited in line for 5 hours to get iPhones.  I thought we’d enjoy the gadget-y-ness for a few days and then be mad we spent so much money for a phone (a key element of being an underbuyer).  Not so.  It has changed my life.  If feel more connected, organized, productive and sane because of it.  Because all of that, and because its cool, I even feel a little less shlump!

This is not an ad for Apple products, but the iPhone is perfect for a mom.  I can stay connected through email without having to sit down!  I can stay informed and read the NY Times any time I have a spare 5 minutes (waiting in line, waiting to pick up my daughter, NOT waiting for a light to turn green), and I don’t have to buy a paper or sit down!   I can map my route after I’m in the car and realize I forgot to map it! I can Facebook, craigslist, eBay and track my fitness when I get a spare second!  And best of all, I can take pictures of the kids and email them, in the moment, to Daddy.   He loves this when he travels.  He feels connected to our routine and our daily joys even when he isn’t in person.

It isn’t a replacement for actual time with people we love, but this thing helps make things less hectic and fills the gaps that are there when being in person isn’t possible.  I’ve also realized how fantastic it is to have access to a little package of “me” in my pocket at all times.  My email, my hobbies, my favorite newspaper.  A little dose of world news in the midst of a kid-centered routine is probably what moms of the 50s were looking for when they took a swig in the middle of the day.  I can get a quick fix and get right back to sweeping the floor, refereeing the fight or cuddling with my kids and a book with a clearer head.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project, Learning, Tech, Uncategorized

Have you seen the latest study on happiness? Well, in case you missed it, here’s a link to the NY Times article discussing it. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts — do you agree?  Do your neighbors affect your happiness?

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project

Every Monday, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

One of the most valuable ways to connect with your child is to read with your child.  We have started Lena’s Lovely Bookstore as a way to share our favorite books with you.  We are always adding new books and always reading, so check it out.  We would love to hear your thoughts and favorites.

Also, we are attempting to divide the books by our categories of: connections, play, giving to others, purpose and learning. These are the categories we are working on for the happiness project.  

But, no matter the subject matter of the book, the act of reading is most important.  It’s a great gift to give any child.

Posted under Books, Connecting, Kid Gifts

Every Monday, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

As Thanksgiving is this week, I have been thinking about how it is such a great time for connecting with family, friends and others.  Not only do we stop to give thanks on this day and reflect on what we are grateful for in our lives, but we also gather together to cook food, play games, catch up on each other’s lives and just be together.  Whether you gather with your immediate family, with your extended family or with friends, I think it is worth it to reflect for a moment on the wonderful connections you have in your life.  Even if you gather only one time a year, it’s a connection that can be felt the rest of the year through.  

It can also be a time to be thankful for and “connect” with those we miss.  My son recently told me about a story he read at school in which the family would cook the favorite dish of family members who could not gather there that day but whom they still wanted to remember.  He then asked whether we could have my Grandpa’s favorite meal as part of Thanksgiving (he passed away 3 years ago) “so we could remember him.”   I thought this was such a wonderful idea — I am not sure what his favorite Thanksgiving dish was, but I remember eating wonderful corn on the cob from his garden with him every year.  So, we will have corn on the cob for Thanksgiving as well.  

Finally, I would recommend the book, Thank You Sarah, the Woman Who Saved Thanksgiving, by Laurie Anderson.  It is a wonderful story about the woman who fought (with letter-writing campaigns to many Presidents) to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.  Finally, after 38 years, President Lincoln agrees (possibly to help reunite the country).  It was a book that showed the power of perserverence, the power of the pen (my son was very intrigued by the “pen is mightier than the sword” reference); and also the importance of being together to give thanks!  We make a powerful force when we connect!

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project, Tradition, Uncategorized

Every Monday, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

Many of the books that I have been reading on parenting discuss the importance of “connection.” Connection is found in many differerent forms and can be different for different people. But for everyone (children and adults), I think, connections with family and friends are important to feeling like life is going well.

Lawrence Cohen, in “Playful Parenting” writes of the importance of connecting with your child.  He likens a child connecting, losing connection and then needing to re-connect to the metaphor of filling and refilling a cup. Sometimes the child’s cup is pouring over and sometimes it is almost empty and needing to be refilled. 

This metaphor helped me to understand the situation this weekend with my son.  I had decided to take a trip to visit my sister and her two twin girls.  This was actually an important trip for me and a way that I was trying to stay connected with my sister and her family. It’s an annual trip for early Christmas shopping and silliness.  I had a great time and definitely filled my cup this weekend.  

However, my son had a really difficult time with my leaving.  He usually takes my trips in stride and has always been fine when I leave.  This time however he was not happy that I was leaving.  He cried and told me he would just miss me too much and to please not go.  He called right before I boarded the plane and was very upset.  This was very difficult for me.

I kept thinking how surprised I was by his reaction.  I told my sister that it surprised me the most because it seemed that we had actually been “butting heads” a little bit lately.  I had been feeling like he wasn’t doing a good job of listening lately and we seemed to go ’round and ’round on this.  So, initially, I felt surprised that he might not want me gone for a few days to have a more carefree time with Daddy.  

I finally realized that it was exactly because we had been going ’round and ’round lately that he was having such distress with me leaving.  He was not feeling connected to me — he needed his cup refilled and my leaving was only causing the cup to become more empty.  

Read More…

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song” Maya Angelou

This past week I felt a real desire to shout for joy about the election and the new hope that is in the air.  I took both of the kids to church mostly so I could sing my heart out and be in the midst of other people who were singing too.  Singing is one of the quickest ways for me to feel connected to joy and my inner peace, although I have no talent at all.  Since my kids are kids, they went a little bananas during the service.  I took them out to the place where all of the parents with small kids go, but the singing and joy just doesn’t resound out there like it does in the chapel.  My need to shout with joy was so big that I dumped Max in the nursery, screaming and crying, so I could get back to the music and connection with the group.  Back in the sanctuary during the exchange of peace with others, I apologized to the woman in front of me for the distraction we had caused during the sermon.  I explained to her that I just needed to be there that day so much, that I brought both kids without any help.  At the same time that I was saying this, she was saying that she was so glad I was sitting behind her.  I laughed and thought she was kidding.  She said that she thought I had such a lovely singing voice and that she “needed to sit in front of me” that day.  I will repeat, I can not sing.  Either a higher presence got into the air and translated the sounds of my voice into lovely singing or the sound of joy can transcend.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project