Every Thursday, we will write about “purpose” — this can include things such as how to find your purpose; spiritual issues; or just anything we think relates to the search for “purpose” for our Happiness Project.

As we have noted, many of us are looking for our “life’s purpose” or just trying to do something that seems meaningful.  I think this is a journey rather than a destination, but I do believe that we should encourage our children in areas which may help them feel like they are reaching this purpose.  

The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness discusses the importance of encouraging children in areas to which they seem partcularly drawn. If your child has an interest in art, even if you don’t, try to find ways to help foster this interest.  Even if this area of interest doesn’t become their “calling” or life purpose, the more things they have to fall back on that they enjoy, the happier they will be as adults.      

My son’s current interest is making books. He loves to write stories, draw pictures with the stories and then read them aloud.   Recently when we discussed what kind of “extra” class he might want to take after school next semester, he said he wanted a class where he could learn more about writing books and making up stories.  He really has a love for words and is very creative.  I feel an obligation to help him pursue this interest; even if it never becomes more than the joy he has this year with books, that’s ok.  This could be something he does for many years and I want him to have the chance to pursue it.

I haven’t been able to find any after school classes that are for little writers though.  We will keep looking. 

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you Scribble Press.  I have mentioned it previously, but they have recently added many things to their website and I am in Love. As their website says:  ” Scribble Press was created by two moms, Darcy Pollack and Anna Barber, as a place for kids and families to write, illustrate and publish their own books.” For those in the LA area, they offer writing and book making classes.  Someone please create this here!

There are so many fun story-making options at Scribble Press.  You must check it out for great gift options for your budding artist or author ! It may not be their life’s purpose, but it can sure provide joy!

Posted under Happiness Project, Purpose, Storytelling

Every Wednesday, we hope to write about “giving to others” as part of our Happiness Project.   

“When hope is not pinned wriggling onto a shiny image or expectation, it sometimes floats forth and opens.” Anne Lamott

We just got back from a trip to KC for Thanksgiving.  We would have preferred to stay at our own home and host a big family gathering, but in the spirit of giving (of our selves) we journeyed to the homes of our childhood.  We spent Turkey Day with Dan’s parents, a joyful day-after-thanksgiving at Union Station and Crown Center with the Barmann clan and a Saturday full of swimming at a community center while it snowed outside.   Throughout the holiday weekend I had moments of feeling the fullness and joy of life unfolding while being connected to the city we grew up in, the places we used to go when I was little, and choosing how to spend the holiday with our growing nuclear and extended family.  This feeling didn’t come from the things that were planned (many of them didn’t work out as planned anyway) but from moments in between.

We are thankful for so much, including:

• the opportunity to parent two healthy kids
• getting to go back home to KC to see our big family then coming back home and decorating our christmas tree
• volunteers at union station in kc who return kids who have lost their parents
• lifeguards who jump in to “save” a four year old going down a big waterslide backwards
• people who put up wild holiday decorations year after year
• our jobs, our house, our cars and all of the material blessings which keep us comfortable and healthy
• parents, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, life long friends, new friends, being married to our best friend
• many chances in one day, week, trip, holiday, year to laugh

I think that giving up the idea of hosting the holiday at our house and traveling made way for an unexpected peacefulness when we got home.  When we arrived home, we made a big dinner, ate in the dining room, put holiday music on loud and hung ornaments on the Christmas tree.  It was totally unplanned and just perfect.  While we were decorating our tree, we found some it-bit ornaments that I forgot we had (My friend Carolyn calls little babies “it-bits”, short for itty-bitty.  I love words and this makes me laugh).  And then we found some mini-it-bits and some tiny-mini-it-bits.  There was joy at the core of my soul when Grace referred to the ornaments this way with a twinkle in her eye.  She is one of us.

I tell my kids as often as I can how happy I am that are with us and that they belong with us.  I hope with all of my heart that they feel through their life that they do.  I know it will evolve and change and hope that I can always see them for their individual souls as well as their part of us.  We are certainly all connected and the holidays give us a chance to enjoy that, struggle with it, laugh about it and then clean it all up and resolve to do better next year.  But before we get there, we kicked off the 2008 holiday season and we’re ready to go!

Posted under Giving to Others, Happiness Project

Every Wednesday, we hope to write about “giving to others” as part of our Happiness Project.   

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven [...] A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away”, originally Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, more recently lots of folk singers

Knowing that the saying “change is the only constant” is true, it still feels like there are some huge ones going on right now.  The Election.  The Economy.  The Environment.  I have heard my husband say we need to “batten down the hatches” so many times in the last two weeks.   “We” means our immediate family, our employers, our nation, our planet, maybe even martians - anyone and everyone.  Every time he says it, he’s talking about how scary our economic crisis is and will be.  I laugh in my head every time he says it.  It isn’t funny, but I laugh for two reasons: one, he has never really been on a boat, so I know he has never battened any hatches but he keeps saying it and two, he is the least dramatic person in the universe but he keeps saying it.  

The other day, I (me, the dramatic one, the one prone to catastrophe-think) was encouraging him to stop talking about it in such a disastrous tone.  I told him that I’d be happy to talk about the choices we have in the matter, how even the worst (losing a job, selling our house, moving to a small apartment) wouldn’t be bad at all as long as we have each other and our health and how my bird-flu stash really might come in handy when the riots break out.

I have realized over time that it creates harmony for me when I approach things that seem overwhelming based on a choice.  It is empowering.  I learned to say to my kids “you have a choice to make” when I was hoping to see a change in their behavior.  Giving them a choice between a positive outcome and a consequence empowers them too.  It works.

Read More…

Posted under Giving to Others, Happiness Project

Every Tuesday, we will write about “play” and how adults and children alike can have this in their lives.

A favorite game of ours is The Storybook Game by Fundex.  I believe that the ability to tell stories is a very important skill for children and adults to have in today’s creative world.  ”Narrative imagining — story — is the fundamental instrument of thought.” Mark Turner, Literary Mind.  

This is a great game to practice your own “narrative imaginings.” 

It is a game in which funny characters, such as a monster or an alien, and everyday items, such as a bus or a carrot, are depicted on cards with the word below the picture.  The rules included with the game are that each person takes a turn drawing a card and adding to a “once upon a time” story without looking at the previous cards.  If you forget part of the story, you are out.  We bought this when my son was three and he had difficulty doing it this way, so we adapted it. 

The way we play is that each person gets 5 cards and has to turn them face down.  The player begins by saying ”once upon a time. . . ” and turning over the first card to begin the story.  The player then turns over each card one by one and tries to add it to the story.  It is a non-competitive version which creates many laughs and silly stories.  It allows kids to practice talking in front of others, practice their story-telling skills, and is a great way to play one-on-one with Mom or Dad.  And, it’s fun!  We have played this game many times with kids ages 4, 6, 8, 10 and 17, and they all had a blast.   

It also comes in a great lunch box style tin which makes it so easy to take on trips.   This would make a great gift for kids or for a whole family — the gift of stories, what could be better?    

Posted under Happiness Project, Kid Gifts, Play, Storytelling

Every Monday, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

As Thanksgiving is this week, I have been thinking about how it is such a great time for connecting with family, friends and others.  Not only do we stop to give thanks on this day and reflect on what we are grateful for in our lives, but we also gather together to cook food, play games, catch up on each other’s lives and just be together.  Whether you gather with your immediate family, with your extended family or with friends, I think it is worth it to reflect for a moment on the wonderful connections you have in your life.  Even if you gather only one time a year, it’s a connection that can be felt the rest of the year through.  

It can also be a time to be thankful for and “connect” with those we miss.  My son recently told me about a story he read at school in which the family would cook the favorite dish of family members who could not gather there that day but whom they still wanted to remember.  He then asked whether we could have my Grandpa’s favorite meal as part of Thanksgiving (he passed away 3 years ago) “so we could remember him.”   I thought this was such a wonderful idea — I am not sure what his favorite Thanksgiving dish was, but I remember eating wonderful corn on the cob from his garden with him every year.  So, we will have corn on the cob for Thanksgiving as well.  

Finally, I would recommend the book, Thank You Sarah, the Woman Who Saved Thanksgiving, by Laurie Anderson.  It is a wonderful story about the woman who fought (with letter-writing campaigns to many Presidents) to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.  Finally, after 38 years, President Lincoln agrees (possibly to help reunite the country).  It was a book that showed the power of perserverence, the power of the pen (my son was very intrigued by the “pen is mightier than the sword” reference); and also the importance of being together to give thanks!  We make a powerful force when we connect!

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project, Tradition, Uncategorized

As part of my version of my Happiness Project, I am trying to continue to “learn”.  I get really excited when I learn something new, in the same way my son gets excited when he learns a new joke — and gets it!  So, every Friday, we will discuss how learning can affect our lives. 

Since launching this website and starting a non-profit company, Operation Shower, I have had to learn many new things.  I am amazed at some of the things I know now — even just how to put a picture on a website — that I would never have believed I would want to learn or could learn.   But, I am so thrilled every time I learn how to do something new on the computer or figure out a new way to market the non-profit company to get the word out.   As I struggle to find what I should do with my life,  I know that if I keep learning new things and keep stretching myself, I have a much better chance of finding the things that make me happy.  

Sometimes I joke that the new job or opportunity will “just come to me” if I wait patiently and have faith. It’s coming –really — I tell my husband as he looks at our bills.  But, I do know that I need to be active and continue to learn and this will provide more opportunities for me. 

With this said, sometimes the best “learning” comes just from living.  Here’s an example of a few things I have learned this week:

• My son cannot stay up late without serious repurcussions the rest of the week (I knew this already, but was reminded all week long, so now I really know!);
• When I stay out late, it also has serious repurcussions;
• People are so generous and kindhearted;
• I love working with a business partner who is also a friend;
• No matter how much you worry, it doesn’t help — instead of worrying, just prepare (just because I learn it doesn’t mean I follow it);
• I have nothing to wear;
• The people on television are just people (did you know this?); and 
• This week, my life is going well.  

Posted under Happiness Project, Learning

Every Thursday, we will write about “purpose” — this can include things such as how to find your purpose; spiritual issues; or just anything we think relates to the search for “purpose”  for our Happiness Project.

“What should I do with my life?” Have you ever asked yourself this question?   If not, you are lucky.  I think many people search for the answer to this question throughout their lives.  I know that I really started asking myself this question after I quit my job as an attorney and decided to stay at home with my son.  

I am still searching for the answer to this question, but I have also learned along the way that there is not just one answer to the question.  And, even when  you find the “answer”, it’s not a forever answer. Life changes;  you change; understanding this has helped me.

A book I wanted to share today is one many of you may have read. Po Bronson’s aptly title “What Should I do With My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question,” was one of the first books I read when I started asking this question.  It is not a self-help book or a life plan, but rather is a book of stories about real people and their experiences.  When you read about real people and their thoughts and dreams, somehow it puts your own into perspective.  There were some stories I related to more than others, but if I read it again today, I know that different stories might be important to me.     

One of my favorites was a story about a lawyer who later became a cupcake chef in Washington, DC.  Since I was living there at the time, I actually went to his restaurant and bought some cupcakes for my son’s birthday as my way of silently supporting his choice to do what he loved.

Posted under Happiness Project, Purpose

Every Wednesday, we hope to write about “giving to others” as part of our Happiness Project.   Today, I want to share with you a really wonderful company , resa design, that is hosting an online baby registry in support of Operation Shower.   Thank you Resa Design, Julian & Co and other companies that join this project!   I am so thankful for companies like this that make Operation Shower possible! 

Resa Design, Julian & Co., and other independent designers have teamed up to host an online gift registry to support Operation Shower, a non-profit organization sending and hosting baby showers for expectant military spouses and personnel.

Mother and independent designer, Resa Troyer, of resadesign.com, is committed to give back to US Military families by teaming up with Operation Shower.  

Beginning November 15, 2008, resadesign.com will play host to an online baby registry and shower where all the gifts go to military moms-to-be or spouses. Products from Resa Design‘s accessory line have been selected and made available at super low prices.  Customers and visitors will have the opportunity to add any of the gift registry items to their personal purchases, or shop solely for Operation Shower. Resa Design has committed to shipping the designated purchases directly to Operation Shower’s home office in St.Louis, Missouri for distribution in ‘showers-in-a-box’ and event showers on military bases.  ”I can not begin to imagine being pregnant, birthing a baby, or raising a newborn while my husband is on the other side of the world.  When I heard about Operation Shower and what they were doing I knew this was something Resa Design could get behind. Expecting a child is such a special season of life. All new mom‘s should be showered with great goodies and lots of love. Military moms-to-be and spouses deserve all our support, and if we can do that by way of special baby gifts, I’m all for it.” -Resa Design owner, Resa Troyer.

Resa Design products are not the only items available. Southern California’s Julian & Co. has also committed to participate by offering their stunning Galleria Necklace at more than 60% off. More designers and products are expected to be added in days to come and throughout the year.  

Creative ways customers can get involved with the Operation Shower registry at Resadesign.com:

•Give a gift on behalf of someone else. (tribute cards are available)
•Give to Operation Shower instead of a birthday or holiday gift.
•Invite your playgroup over and gather around the computer to host a baby shower on behalf of Operation Shower.
•Have scouts raise funds and make purchases for Operation Shower.

Posted under Baby, Charities, Giving to Others, Happiness Project

Play is not always getting on the floor and playing Barbies or superheroes, but can be something as simple as hugging your child and saying, “oh, sorry, I love you so much I’m never going to let you go.” I play this game with my son, as suggested by Dr. Cohen, and he loves it. He will ask, “But, how will you drive? How will you sleep?” and I’ll come up with silly answers to make him giggle. It’s playful and we are hugging the whole time.

As children grow and we are no longer required to hold them to take them from place to place or feed them, the hugs and holding often become much less frequent. Even if we try to show affection, they start asking for you to stop kissing them in public (gross, mom!). But, using playful parenting techniques allows for many ways to connect with your child by touching without obvious or “gross” affection. It may take the form of wrestling or being silly and holding them “forever” or some other fun way to connect. Your child needs these connections even if at times he or she can’t ask for them directly. Read More…