As the mother of an only child, I am very interested in any articles regarding only children.  The article, “What’s Wrong With Having One Child?” which ran in the New York Times recently, was especially interesting to me, as it discusses  the author’s decision, so far, to have only one child.  Here’s an excerpt: 

“As much as my husband and I have talked endlessly about the reasons why we think having one is best, this is a ridiculously difficult and emotionally charged decision, and I obsess about it all the time. I hear a friend talk warmly about visiting her sister and I immediately think about how nice it would be for my daughter to experience that warmth when she is older. I see my daughter play with a little baby at the park and my eyes almost tear up as I daydream about her playing with her own sibling. I go through the good-things-about-having-siblings checklist in my mind, and come out convinced that yes, we should definitely have another.

And then I remember all the reasons why we think we may just want one. Some of them I hesitate to share here, but most have to do with worrying about maintaining our sanity, our relationship with each other and our daughter and having any time for horribly selfish things like our non-family and non-work interests.” 

What do you think?

Posted under Random Thoughts

On Wednesdays, we hope to write about “giving to others”  or “giving back” as part of our Happiness Project.

Check out the new “I’m Tired of  . .” bracelets to support your favorite cause.   Whether you are tired of cancer, global warming, AIDs or any other world issue, you can declare it with these bracelets.  They are much more stylish than the silicone bracelets everyone wears, and they are environmentally friendly as they are made from recycled tires (get it — I’m “tired” of . . ) and metals. 

For every $10 bracelet sold, the company donates $5 (that’s half) to important causes. “You pick the cause and your bracelet and the donation will automatically be made on your behalf.” These are also a simple gift idea that looks great and can be worn by men, women and teens.

Posted under Charities, Giving to Others

On Tuesdays, we will write about “play” and how adults and children alike can have this in their lives.

I came across this and other pictures of Christopher Niemann’s New York-inspired lego creations today and just love them (click on the link to see more).  I will show these to my son when he gets home from school and see if we can play. 

Christopher Niemann also has a new children’s book that looks great — The Pet Dragon — A Story about Adventure, Friendship and a Chinese Characters !  What a fun gift book this would be.  

Posted under Books, Happiness Project, Kid Gifts, Play

On Mondays, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

It was reported last month that 4 prominent men in the political field connect with each other daily on a morning phone call: George Stephanopolous, James Carville, Paul Begala and White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanual.  They are good friends and have done this for years.  While many conservative bloggers and commentators have derided these conversations as inappropriate “strategy sessions”, I am not interested in that aspect of the story.  

I am fascinated however by the fact that these friends talk virtually every day.  As I write often about the importance of connection, I was struck by how these men value their connection with each other.  To touch base with others who understand you and your circumstances and don’t just think they know you is critical to a sense of well being (happiness even ?).  This is why it seems that it was so important for President Obama to keep his Blackberry — to stay connected to those who knew him  before he was President and to maintain some form of normalcy.    

I think these stories are good reminders of the importance of connection.  I have always had a good relationship with my sister and after I moved to a different city from her 6 years ago (I am still not forgiven for this), the importance of staying connected took on new meaning for us.  She was a true lifeline for me as I was trying to figure out what to do with a newborn baby.  It wasn’t that she had the answers (she didn’t), but she knew me before I had my son and gave me the connection I needed to talk about fashion, entertainment, or just nothing. I used to call her everyday.  

As we have both changed and she has also had children (twins!), our time commitments have sometimes made our phone calls take a back seat to other things. This last month, I think we went almost two weeks without talking.  I was feeling disconnected and simply missing her.  After seeing the story about the Chief of Staff connecting every day with his friends, I decided surely my sister and I could connect more often.  So, we have reinstituted the “daily call.”  We’ll see how long it lasts, but just knowing we will try makes me happy.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project

On Wednesdays, we hope to write about “giving to others” as part of our Happiness Project.

We love the Learning Cents Trio Bank ($20) !  It has three attached banks for (1) spending; (2) saving and (3) giving.  It is a great resource for helping your child learn about all three ways to allocate his or her money.  The saving bank opens from the bottom and is a little harder to access, illustrating that it is not to be as freely accessed. 

Whether you give an allowance or you use the banks to help your child allocate birthday or holiday money, these banks are great learning tools.  It also comes with dry erase markers so you can help your child track the amount in the banks. 

With the economic times as they are, this is a great gift to help children learn to manage money early. It’s also never too early to illustrate that, when possible, giving to others should be part of the equation (we recently used some of my son’s “giving” money to buy dog supplies for the local animal shelter).

Posted under Giving to Others

Every Tuesday, we will write about “play” and how adults and children alike can have this in their lives.

A study released yesterday seems to show that children need more play and less work at school.  The study states that “ a growing trend of curbing free time at school may lead to unruly classrooms and rob youngsters of needed exercise and an important chance to socialize.” 

This is not really a surprise to me, as I believe strongly in the importance of play.   Play is the format in which kids learn life skills and develop empathy for others. As many have said before, play is a child’s most important work. This does not mean that you forgo math or spelling or other curriculum, but you should always make time for play. 

An excellent book that illustrates this is “A Child’s Work” by Vivian Paley.  

Posted under Play

On Mondays, we will write about the importance of “connection” in our lives and how we can establish and keep connections.

One of my favorite ways to connect with my son is through reading.  The physical act of sitting together or lying in bed to read automatically brings us closer.   In addition, the books and stories themselves will often bring you closer through their message or the shared experience of following the characters.  One of the best books I would read over and over again  to my son from 6 mos to about 4 years was “No Matter What”  by Debi Gliori.  

It is a book about the love between parent and child (or “Small and Large”) and is told in a simple, fun and peaceful way.  The reassurance that a child will be loved even when he acts inappropriately is a wonderful message and this author tells it in a way that made it great fun for us over and over again.  I still ask my son if he is feeling “grim and grumpy” and even if he is, he knows I still love him — no matter what.

Posted under Connecting, Happiness Project, Kid Gifts

I had never heard of the game “Don’t Eat Pete”, but as soon as I saw it here (with a free download of a game board), I knew my son would love it!  It is so simple, but sounds very fun.  Here’s how Candace at Sparkle Power describes How to play:

Send the first player away from the game board or into another room, then have the remaining players choose which one of the twelve people on the game board will be “Pete” for the round. Place one M&M in each square of the game board. Have the first player come back and begin picking and eating M&M’s from the game board. As soon as the player tries to pick “Pete” everyone yells “Don’t Eat Pete!” The player keeps all the M&M’s picked up before trying to get Pete. Refill the game board and play again with the next player.

You can use cereal or other small snack foods as well as any type of small candy for this game.

This cute gameboard designed by her husband looks great printed on card stock or picture paper! 

Posted under Parties, Play

As part of our version of the Happiness Project, we are trying to continue to “learn”  – anything we can. 

This year, I did not make a resolution to exercise more or become more fit, even though I need to do both. The only reason I did not make the resolution is because I knew making it would mean I would break it. So, instead, I decided to just do it. (Sure.)  

My problem has always been figuring out what to do for exercise. I do not like to run; I do not like group exercise classes and I get really bored with exercise.  But, I was determined to find something this year.  I think the Wii Fit might be it.  I love it! 

It is a great system for me because (1) it has a variety of exercises to keep me from being bored, (2) it tracks my progress by keeping charts and graphs of the activities I have done and a chart of my BMI and weight ( I love charts); (3) it balances fun games and exercises such as hula hoops, skiing and hitting soccer balls with your head, with activities like yoga and strength exercises; (4) I am able to tell whether I am doing the exercise right and continue to try to do better each time (it tracks each exercise); and (5) it has a wonderful instructor that doesn’t talk unnecessarily or judge.  

This morning, I was behind schedule and almost didn’t do the exercises, but I actually thought that I would miss it if I didn’t.  That has never happened to me before with exercise. 

I  love the fact that I am learning something new and that I am keeping a goal I had for myself (not a resolution!)

Posted under Learning, Tech

On Thursdays, we will try to write about “purpose” — this can include things such as how to find your purpose; spiritual issues; or just anything we think relates to the search for “purpose” for our Happiness Project.

My son and I recently read the book “The Three Questions” by Jon Muth. 
It is a lovely, peaceful book about a boy searching for the answer to 3 questions: ”When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? What is the right thing to do? ”  Questions we all struggle with at times. 

The little boy ultimately talks to the turtle, Leo (why are turtles always portrayed as wise?  I must investigate this).  The boy learns from Leo, and from his own actions, that now is the most important time, and the one you are with is the most important one, and the right thing to do is to do good for that one (written much more eloquently than I just did). 

My son ( 6 years old) really enjoyed the story and seemed to understand the basic message.  The illustrations are lovely as well. It is definitely a book we could read again and again. I especially love it when I read a book that reminds me stop and appreciate my son as we read it.  This is one of those books.

Posted under Happiness Project, Purpose